


Sleep

by theydeservedmore



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depression, Freeform, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Loss, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27717635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theydeservedmore/pseuds/theydeservedmore
Summary: The day starts the way it ends. With a name on his lips like a prayer.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 12
Kudos: 68





	Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be something hopeful and happy, but whoops. I'm in pain.

The nightmare ends the way it starts.

When blue eyes disappear with the dark.

_I love you._

And Dean finds himself alone.

—

There’s a bottle at his lips.

It rinses away the feelings he can’t admit.

And the thick, heavy dread in his gut.

And Dean finds himself alone.

—

_We’re worried about you, Dean._

But, how could they understand?

Sam and Eileen are together.

And Dean finds himself alone.

—

The day starts the way it ends.

With a name on his lips like a prayer.

_Cas._

And Dean finds himself alone.

—

He grips the sink, white-knuckled.

These are not the eyes he wants reflected back at him.

He raises a fist to break the glass.

He holds back the urge.

_That's not who I am._

And Dean finds himself alone.

—

There’s a bottle at his lips.

It drowns the words he never got to say.

He's so tired.

And Dean finds himself alone.

—

_You need to talk to someone, Dean._

But they'll never understand.

Sam and Eileen get their happy ending.

And Dean finds himself alone.

—

The fabric hugs him close, weighted with the memory.

Of a hand.

_His_ hand.

Pressed heavy against his shoulder.

Firm and reassuring and _alive_.

And Dean finds himself alone.

—

The evening finds him like it always does.

The other half of his bed remains vacant.

Only filled by the light from the bedside lamp.

And Dean finds himself alone.

—

There’s a bottle at his lips.

It pulls the consciousness from him. 

It cradles him in for the night.

He’s _so_ tired.

And Dean finds himself alone.

—

The dream starts the way it always does.

When blue eyes appear in the dark.

“Hello, Dean.”

_Cas._

And Dean is found.


End file.
